Hello, and nice to see back for another visit to The Palace….
Some of you may recall from my post “Brainwaves and Boxes”, available at all good newsagents/retailers and in hardback…. Whats that peep? publishing on the Internet ISN’T being published? Mouses!
There was I thinking that I was a world re-known arthur with a string of hits to my name… What’s that peep?… I’m not an arthur! well I know that, I’m 100% an Erin, maybe even 110% if I’ve had cream and mice, but that bulge goes quite quickly. purrs
Anyways it’s best never to raise such things with a lady, let alone a princess, not the done thing you know peeps. And if you’ve learned only one thing in the 2 years we’ve been together, you’d have thought it would be never to argue
with me. about diet.
Oh and never to let the cream supply run out or …. OK so there are a few things you needed to learn but the point is I don’t ask for a lot, peep, do I, huh? The odd daily luxury here and there, for sure, but what lady wouldn’t; no don’t answer that.
And surely peep can remember a simple thing such as my name, I mean you call me every day oft’ 20 times a day. I could do you a nameplate to have on your lapel, with my name on so every time you need to call me you can check.
Hmm, on second thoughts that won’t work on account of peep not being able to read upside down, though if peep carried a mirror then. Nah, that wouldn’t work either as my name would be backwards, nirE, and being a Princess I’m NOT answering to that, no way, I do have standards you know. Mouses
On that subject, I really do need to get the flag sorted for the Palace, something in a subtle pink, or purple at a push, but no tassels. Ooh and a motto maybe…. hmm I wonder what … “Et persequemini mures, comedetis I crepito, I dormire” springs to mind. Purrs
What’s that peep? Author not Arthur you say, it was a typo you say? OH I SEE… well if you will keep interrupting me this is exactly what happens, a tyop… er… strike that, a typo. You see I told you. Mouses!
Now where was I? Ah yes, my past post….
Ahem… Well many of you will recall in my post “Brainwaves and Boxes”, (NOT available at newsagents/retailers or in hardback) that I acquired, after peeps lengthy period of research many very natty plastic food savers with blue lids from those nice Swedish furniture peeps. I’ll pause for a moment here, so you can run back in time and have a quick peek at that post. See you in a bit…..
*****Some time (and some cream and nip) later*****
Oh hello…. you’re back already? Sorry about the cream on the whiskers, I thought you’d be a bit longer! Hey ho, right where were we?
OK, at this point you’re probably going to say what do those natty plastic food savers with blue lids have to do with anything? and in truth I would have to say, not a lot.
Well, not a lot unless, like my peep, you drill holes in the bottom for drainage. This is apparently a sound idea if you want to use as a plant pot, really aids drainage and those seedlings won’t drown for want of swimming lessons.
However, if like my peep you then try to use same as a plant pot saucer, and keep filling and wondering why it won’t fill up, then said pots will have a lot to do with everything! Everything from the windowsill down the wallpaper onto MY desk and finally onto MY new revolving seat, and no Princess wants a soggy seat, do they. Mouses!
This self same revolving seat of the feline fun factor has become the centre of my domain, when not on the throne of course. Anyways, it was whilst the Palace mop up crew were cleaning my pivotal, pivoting seat, that I discovered a hitherto hidden game device secreted down the back thereof.
I am proud therefore to say, after much field testing, though peep did refuse to let me actually take the seat out into a field on account of the mud, I can now release to the world a brand new gaming device, which I have called……
But before I say any more, I need to stress that this new toy does need a power supply, a 1PP type which is replaceable. Please also note that with heavy gaming activity it can flag somewhat after about half an hour. Fear not, as most of you will have two or more 1PP’s available to you in your own home or palace, so if one fails it can soon be replaced and put on charge.
Now on the matter of recharging, it generally takes me no more time than it takes to make and drink a cup of tea/coffee to get my 1PP up and running again. If however like me, you only have 1 Peep Power (1PP) available to you, I found that if a period drama DVD was available, the extra time spent watching with peep would boost subsequent play duration quite dramatically, and facilitate more cuddle time too. purrs
Anyways, without further ado, I can now reveal that I have called my new device…..
….. the “E-Stick”! Pat Pending, least she will be when she’s back off her holidays with Miss Description. purrs
Now I know what you’re all thinking, this sounds like a dog thing, and no self respecting feline will be doing THAT sort of a thing, and on that point my dear pals you would be right.
Rest assured however, that this new device will NOT lead to country walks, or wellies and getting generally unreasonably soggy and dirty on bad weather days, or impinge on nap times. No ma’am, absolutely not. purrs
Nope, this is quite simply an indoor activity, and designed to stimulate and nurture feline hunting skills and requires great dexterity, paw eye coordination, and tactical precision. Also there is no inane running around required! purrs
To use this marvelous new game one must first have your peep power at the ready. Now this is where those clever Swedish furniture peeps scored big time, as they clearly left this cunning little slot between the back rest and seat, that the E-Stick (Pat. Pend.) can emerge from at different angles of attack and for sparring practice.
For those seeking a little extra excitement and realism, I have invented the “E-Cloak” which protects the seats backrest and disguises the “E-Stick’s” actions there under, sort of like chasing peeps toes under the wool duvet.
Now if you couple this with the rotating action of the seat, we have a multi directional, multi textured sparring surface that can give those claws a good workout and saves damage to the seat. What more could one want, huh.
One other really cool feature of the “E-Stick” is its flying capabilities. Yup, this device can fly, and all it needs is a peep on hand to place with one end protruding slightly over the edge of, for example, your desk, and then to initiate flight a digital command. With the minimum of instruction and a modicum of aiming around the general position of my chair, peep was soon able to make it fly through the air and pose a fantastic jumping target.
And so my pals, I give you “E-Stick” and “E-Cloak” possibly the best toys ever that don’t contain nip! Maybe I can work on an “E-Stick mk 2” with a scent of nip? purrs
Now all this fun can be yours for a small consideration. I will be happy to accept payment in cream or nip, or a month long weekend break for one in a warm and dry climate.
What’s that peep? it’s only a coffee stirrer and a tea towel! Now look peep, just because you didn’t invent this, there’s no need to go around stirring things up. Mouses!
And it isn’t a coffee stirrer, it’s 8 inches of well designed, fully functional (within certain parameters and subject to none breakage, (warranty conditions apply)) aerodynamic and totally recyclable feline fun factor E-gadget. Any semblance to a coffee stirrer is purely coincidental. Anyways there were no coffee stains on it when I found it!
And as to the “E-Cloak” being a tea towel? Nonsense! The fact it was in the kitchens has nothing to do with it, it was just working there waiting for it’s big break. Mouses!
Anyways, I don’t do tea or coffee, only cream, so technically, if it was a tea towel, which it isn’t, its a cream towel. OK if we’re being picky, technically it’s a white with pink racing stripes down the edge, sort of a cream towel, that’s not. purrs
What’s that you say? What about the RSI? Now look peep, there is no way that my pals peeps will get an RSI injury in their fingers from giving the digital command flicking my “E-Stick”. For starters it would be in their wrists or elbows.
Hmm, OK so maybe I will put a warning on the packaging to take a break or use another finger, or that opposable thumb you peeps are always going on about, that would do, huh?
Mouses! you know there is always a critic, and always someone putting up obstacles to small business or a Princess looking to up her holiday fu… er… pension reserves.
Anyways, if there are any complaints I will just refer them to you, peep, or the Acme Cost-A-Lot Drinks Stirrer Co, after all I’m just a cat, and as my motto goes, “I chase mice, I eat cream, I sleep”….
(….least ways that’s what peep thinks *winks*)
Warning: Peep supervision is required at all times during use of the “E-Stick”, and at no point during the making of this post was peep left unattended to chew or otherwise get splinters therewith. I being a feline am far too sensible to do that, as it is after all, just for fun.
I’m entering this picture of me with my NEW gaming device the E-Stick, for this weeks Sunday Selfie, hosted by the fantastic The Kitties Blue over at The Cat on My Head blog….