Of Ducks & Sheep & Thrones

Well two pages into this blog, and a few diet cream teas later (and by diet that’s the cream minus the tea) I find that this is way more taxing an exercise than I expected! Now having heard peep talk of things called “power naps” (which seemed just the ticket for a new & tired blogger cat) I set off around the rooms in search. I reasoned a power nap device should be easy to spot by virtue of (1) having a power attachment and (2) something to nap on attached to the power attachment. Well, after a short foray in the bedroom I spotted (if the wire and the woolly texture was anything to go by) my power nap device folded up in the peeps wardrobe! Yep, there it was in glorious two tone pastel pink and blue nestled in a cat napping sized shelf in the wardrobe.

    Never one to hold back on trying new napping technology, in I went for my well earned power nap. Well, 5 minutes of tossing & turning on a lumpy thin mat & being knotted up in lots of little cords is not my idea of a nap, and not in the least energising. Frankly if that’s how peeps get a power nap then I’m surprised you get any work done, let alone naps! purrs.

    Now having extracted myself from the strings I took to the bed in search of an “un-powered” nap, oblivious to the fact that today being cleaning day, peep had removed the duvet cover and also the throw that usually resides on my half of bed. I closed my eyes and started to knead my way into a nice comfy spot in the sun.  Now my claws being nice and sharp found little resistance in the old and now bare duvet so I went on kneading and turning in a sort of blind ecstasy (am I allowed to say that in a family blog?) until happy in myself, I gracefully dropped down.  Now it was at this point I started to sneeze, and each time my nose seemed to be getting more irritated. I opened my eyes to see what can only describe as the scene of some poor pigeons demise, lacking only the pigeon and the demise bit, but with plenty of the feathery stuff.

EEK…. I thought, this really doesn’t look good & there was clearly no way of extracting myself from this incident without embarrassment or a part share of the blame! Though as peep had removed the duvet cover and throw, I didn’t feel entirely responsible! As things worked out, peep walked in just as I weighing my exit strategy. Now, had I been a Calico or one of the those fluff-boys I may well have got away with the feathers stuck to me being overlooked, but Tux as I am, I was pretty much holding the smoking toaster as it were (this being a family blog and all). Now peep looked at me and then the duvet and did a funny thing, he laughed. Not given to much laughter is my peep, but he actually chuckled then laughed & petted me on the head and went and fetched the vacuum cleaner.

Hmm…I thought, this is a bit strange, I expected at least mutterings and utterances of sending me to Battersea Dogs Home! but no, not so much as a bark out of him, in fact all seemed well! Now there was a chance I was dreaming this all, so I felt my brow and even gave myself a nip and I was neither fevered or asleep. Peep also looked well, although to be on safe side I gave him a nip for good measure as he was tidying the feathers and, judging by the reaction he was not dreaming either!

Still much confused by his reaction, I headed to the kitchen to await my supper. On arrival I couldn’t help but notice a large bag residing on my throne, yep actually ON MY THRONE. Now I must explain at this point that I had, on moving in, laid claim to a throne. Peep called it a stool, it is however clearly a throne, being made of wood with a padded orange and gold insert inserted in the middle. Here I sit daily to await my breakfast and supper to be served (and also any other time when there’s half a chance of some treats from the kitchen). Well today my throne had clearly been usurped by a bag, a big overstuffed bag, looking very much like a very fat Wood Pigeon. The audacity of it I thought, as I did the only thing a self respecting Princess could do, I jumped on it!

Now in hindsight, and to be fair most things dont look good from the hind, this wasn’t such a good idea as the bag the stool and I bounced, clattered and tumbled across the floor.  EEK… I thought, two messes in one day really was chancing my paw and bound to get peep upset, for sure. I could see no option but to flee the scene & plead ignorance at another time. So out the flap I went, pretty sharpish I can tell you, like a cat about to be scalded or is it scolded? well at the very least scowled at!

Now on my return, all seemed well, the offending bag had been removed and the stool righted and my supper in place. Clearly peep had seen the injustice and un-usurped the usurper leaving me to my throne. Yep, he may at times be slow, but he learns. So, duly fed I headed for my “post supper” and a pre “main nap” nap. To my horror found aforesaid bag on my bed! Yep, this bag had clearly an intent to take over my bed space after failing to take the throne! I wasn’t about to take it lying down! No Sir, I’m a cat of action (between naps) and I did what every self respecting Princess would do, I leapt at it, again, this time with claws out to avoid any slippage.

    Now at some point in my flight, and picture this in slow motion if you will, I noticed that the bag was empty, and that spread neatly on the bottom of  the bed was a brand new (and clean) duvet. EEK… I thought (well more Eeeeeeeeeeek in slow motion), and I did the feline equivalent of handbrake turn and dropped on the bed. Hmm… I thought walking towards the duvet, this is all a bit new and well different, and dare I say it, pricey too! Peeps clearly can’t be well as he’s spent some money! Checking my paws and stowing my claws, I took those first tentative steps onto the fresh cotton. Oh it was so cool and smooth and looked so like a fresh fall of snow that, as yet, didn’t have any of those tell tale paw prints across it!

I fell in love there and then and started to knead myself in for a well earned and much needed nap. I just couldn’t help myself, it really just happened on instinct, and now fearing the worst, I looked down and all I saw were some neat small holes in the fabric, but no feathers! Strange that, usually there’s feathers in these things! Being the inquiring sort of girl that I am, I padded over to the bag, and saw that it said “Sheep Wool Duvet”. Hmm… duvets made of sheep? clearly peeps is after counting himself to sheep, sorry to sleep!

Now soft and gleaming white as it was, I couldn’t resist any longer. My Mama always said the proof of the nip is in the tasting, so not holding back I settled myself in (forgoing the kneading) to conduct a “test nap”, just to make sure it would be OK for the peep you understand. Well I can tell you I heard not a quack, bleat or cock-a-doodle-do out of that duvet, which was something of a shame as it happened, as I overslept and missed my late supper slot and could really have done with a wake up call!

Later that evening whilst we both nestled in and on the duvet, peep said he’d been looking for a reason to get rid of the old one, and my shredding it had been just what he needed, and I deserved my cream, for sure! Well, can you believe it, after all the upset and stress he put me through, the usurping, un-usurping and sneezing, he tells me it was me doing him a big favor! Me thinks this is clearly a two (or maybe a three) bowls of cream worth of a big favor, to ease the stress & psychological trauma you know.

Oh and in case peep gets to see this later, just so you know and don’t sleep in, I’ll be on my throne early tomorrow for Breakfast, at 5 I think would be nice! purrs.