SNOW

Well so much for a white Christmas!

Whilst my pals around the world are basking in the sun or having that lovely white stuff called snow, we at the Palace are having rain.

Not the odd shower, no ma’am, an odd shower would maybe be fun, depending on how odd it was of course, and assuming it wasn’t odd in a crazy kind a way, like raining cats and dog crazy or squirrels making nut pies crazy, cos that wouldn’t be fun. Mouses!

On the other paw, raining mouses might be be fun. purrs

No, odd in a funny sort of way would be good, or interesting at least. Maybe if it came in colors that would be fun, pink would be nice, freshen things up a bit in this dreary and frankly sodden time.

In fact my peep #1 said that there is a peep expression about viewing things through rose tinted glasses, but apparently this means thinking something is what it isn’t or is better than it is. Now this sounds somewhat daft to me as what you see, pink or not is what it is, surely? I mean if I saw a blue dog I wouldn’t think that dog was a red herring. Well maybe if it was in an Agatha Christie novel I might, as apparently they figure quite often, though suspiciously they were never red or herrings!

Now I do like pink, especially roses, but not the thorny ones. Heck we all know what happens to Princesses that get pricked by a rose!  And whilst a long nap sounds great, and a beautiful prince sound OK (those guys can get real hard work later in life), I really don’t want another seven mouths to feed at the Palace or any more ‘hi ho!‘ singing going on. It wasn’t until the noise abatement order that I managed to get peep to stop singing in the shower. purrs

Anyways, I would happily view things through glasses, rose tinged or not, but as a cat with natural poise, elegance and 9/9 vision, I don’t wear glasses. Can you image the problems getting them to stay put with all the acrobatics, grooming, and napping, not forgetting our swivelling ears. Of course I could wear swimming goggles, and thinking on it, with all this rain it may well come to that. Mouses!

Of course us cats could have contact lenses, with rose tint, but with all our eyelids it could be a bit awkward, and we’d be forever taking them in and out all the time, every time we nap in fact, maybe twenty times a day. purrs.

No, on balance I think best forget the whole glasses thing, at least for me anyway.  Peep #1 on the other hand needs them all the time, and I may well suggest rose tinted instead of the seemingly blue and gray ones that color peeps life, which is never helped by the rain and the long winter nights.

Now apparently peep suffers from SAD as well as a depression, which ironically meteologically speaking is where the rain comes from, via a cloud and large watering can. Hmm, in fact the more I think on it, maybe there’s a link between the two and peeps is actually causing the rain! I just hope the depression doesn’t get any worse as the moat is nearly full and the Palace lions were asking about rain coats.  Mouses

Anyways I digress, this SAD thing is a Seasonally Affected Disorder, and not as I thought as a result of  being Senior And Daft. Sort of comes about when peep doesn’t get enough sunlight, a bit like grass going yellow and dying if it gets covered up too long. Fortunately I’ve seen no signs of peep going yellow, though there have been times, especially after sampling the dry white, when there’s been more than a hint of green and grey.

What’s that peep? my digression is actually a digression of a digression you say? Hmm… seems maybe I have a digression too far or is that two too far? Hmm I think I’ve digressed again which would be three too far. Mouses! is there no end to the digression, a bit like the rain, which is where I started.

Now this here rain, which before you ask, isn’t pink, has been coming down so much that the plants think not only has a spring sprung around them, but that spring itself has sprung and its time to get growing again. In fact those daffodils have started to pop their heads above ground and its way too soon as we haven’t had the frosts yet or any of that nice white snow stuff.

I just loves the idea of having snow at this place, the Palace place that is, and not ‘this place’ as in the fish as that would be spelled differently and the ‘i‘ would be very much out of place as would the plaice be out of place, literally a fish out of water. But then again, with all the rain and global warming maybe not. Mouses!

Mind you, I saw on the Internet (so it must be true) that in some places it has been known to rain fish! Yup actual fish… Mouses! No not fish like mouses just fish, better clear that up, as there’s a big difference between the two, one being furry and the other having scales.

Hmm, best check with Miss Description on that, as why they’d want to weigh themselves is a mystery to me, unless it’s so they know which size tin can to wear? purrs

Anyways, back to these airborne fish (who clearly don’t qualify for an upgrade to first class) which it seems that have been known to be alive in the skies, least ways until they landed, oft in far flung and waterless lands. Ouch! that would really hurt and one heck of a way to beat customs, huh.

Yup, even in the deserts people have been assailed by falling flounders, menaced by mackerel and walloped by whales! ….. OK so maybe not whales, but you get the gist.

Now seems like those there fish are sucked up from the oceans by strange weather forces and get caught up in the clouds and then get deposited where they least want to be or are expected. Bit like a rogue taxi driver. Mouses!

Whats that peep? it’s started snowing?  Its actually snowing! Whoopee…. I’m off out to have a bit of fun, see you soon….

30 minutes later….

OK it can stop now. It absolutely can cease and desist with the snowing and drifting and whole white thing, now, or anytime sooner. In fact it’s boring and positively, well, a white nuisance and way too cold and plays havoc with the whiskers and fur, not to mention my claws. I’m fairly sure they’re not meant to be that color. Mouses

In fact I can’t see anything out there to recommend the snow. Absolutely nothing, nil, zilch, zero.

OK the Palace looks vaguely twee, if you squint and it’s dark, but nothing like those postcards or festive chocolate tins. And that snow is playing havoc with the gargoyles and guttering, not to mention the solar panels which have stopped solaring or whatever they do!

And as for the estate, well there’s going to be one BIG mess out there when it thaws, and I’m not going to be the one to tidy it up. For starters I didn’t order it, and we haven’t a dingy, and this princess doesn’t wear waders, not for anyone. Rubber is just not the fashionable thing to be seen in. Mouses!

On top of that, when I thought it couldn’t get worse, the Palaces sheep were not happy, no ma’am. They were contracted to look cute for green and pastoral scenes, spring Easter and the like, and this snow they say, is definitely not in their contract and NOT showing them off to their best. In fact, they said they’re going to be bleat to their agent! Who knew sheep had agents? Just hope they aren’t fleeced on their fees. purrs

In fact now I think on it, which I am, being a thinking kind of Princess and all, I’m thinking of migrating, yup somewhere warm, with light showers and NO snow and plenty of mice. Oh, and NO fish, I don’t want to go sunbathing and end up battling a Bass!

What’s that you say peep? place called Utopia? **** rattling of keyboard **** Sounds good, in fact purrfect. What’s that peep? “Cats would like mice you say”, well that’s OK, I do anyways, served with a light cheese sauce, there’s nothing finer.

What do you mean “Not that sort of like“? …. WHAT!…. you mean like as in ‘get on with each other’ sort of likeMouses!

Whatever next, flying fish? Heck not even I would believe that fish have wings, thats right up there with talking birds, and peep #1 remembering to get the shopping. Mouses!

Well enough of this banter, I’m of to straighten my whiskers and to draft strongly worded email to the Weather Office. Maybe I can get the snow dry next time, heck if they can do it with the wine, why not, and whilst they’re at it maybe I can have it in a nice shade of pink, English Rose would be nice, and a small bit in green for the sheep! What do you think……

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