Lost and Found

Well it has finally come to that time of year when peeps change their clocks… “what for” I found myself saying the first time I heard about it, aren’t the clocks up to the task, has some better sort of clock come around that made all previous versions obsolete? heck the clock industry must be a mighty productive one with all those clocks and watches being changed for ones exactly the same as those they replaced.

Then 6 months later peep changed those clocks back again, to ones that looked the same as those they’d been changed to and from. Confused I most definitely was, and clearly there was some sort of dissatisfaction amongst peeps with their time, and I, being an enquiring sort of a Princess, needed to know!

But alas, as is the way with these things, training my new peep and other duties around the palace sort of side tracked me and before I knew it I had forgotten it. Which does rather raise the question if I had known about it before I knew about it and then forgotten about it, would I not have forgotten about it or would i have just forgotten sooner than before? Mouses!

Well this year I’m determined to get to the root of this matter as those pesky clocks have changed again! Yep, just as peep had settled down into a routine its all change again, or not, as in reality I think them clocks haven’t actually changed not in the corporeal sense, its just time that’s gone back to as it was six months ago. Hmm… but I’m still here and not where I was 6 months ago, at least I think I’m am, hang on let me check the diary…

********sound of pages turning********

Ah-ha here it is…. Sunday 29 March…..

To do list for Sunday, Day of Rest:

1) As Saturday 28 March 2015.

2) Take shorter naps to look out for missing hour which peep says he will have lost today,

2a) Take extra naps to make up for shorter ones.

3) Consider inventing time travel device to get peeps time back and my missing nip mice.

3a) Forget 3 as remembered Nerissa and Seville over at @Nerissaslife have already invented it.

4) Order extra cream to replace that which will be lost in missing hour.

5) Move item 4 to item 1a

Yep, just as I thought, I’m definitely here as in today here in October, rather than here as in here (or is it there?) in March, as I can remember that cream was particularly tasty, though in truth I cant recall getting past item 2a!

However, to redress my… er… oversight, I have tried looking for this missing hour myself. Well in my capacity as estate manager its my duty to ensure peep is on top form and every hour is available for him to work rest and play. The latter is most important of course, and it is incumbent on us felines with peeps to ensure that they are healthy in heart and mind and soul, and what better way than play.

Whether it be nip mice or wands or just a well timed tickle under the chin, mine that is, us cats need to insist on that quality time with peeps to relieve them from the drudgery of everyday work and household chores, kitchen duties excepted of course. Well there are limits to things, and we don’t have an electric can opener. Just saying peeps.

Anyways with investigating head on I had covered every bit of both the ‘Day Estate’ and the ‘Night Estate’ as I like to call them, leaving no sparrow unruffled in search of a shred of evidence as to the hours whereabouts.

What are these estates I hear you say? Well the day estate is that which you peeps can see when you look out on yours and our world, (mainly during the day) the birds bees squirrels trees etc, whilst the night estate is… Well, maybe I shouldn’t tell you, as its a kind of magic. Hmm… OK I will, but do keep it secret.. The best way to describe it is those things we cats can do, those skills we have that you peeps don’t. Its a kind a magic that has been lost to you through time or arrogance, and in part its the ability to see and hear and taste things at the minutest level, like the sound of a blade of grass moving or see a mouse’s breath or find direction where there is none.

Now I bet you’ve all seen many a cat sitting in a window staring out in a seemingly lazy daze, and might have thought it was just being lazy. OK, the burden of proof is a bit difficult to establish that it wasn’t, but take my word for it there is a very very good chance that fellow feline isn’t having a nap or a senior moment as you you peeps like to call it, but is actually scanning the undergrowth and calculating and memorising umpteen different things from trajectories velocities to which leaf provides best cover and why that mouse over there, third from the left, in the bush, has just moved…did YOU see it?

Well all this adds up to why we work so hard and need those naps you know. Its tough being on top of ones game 24/7 and it takes continual practice, hours of meditation and a good diet. Failing that, I do what any self respecting Princess would do, I jump on it! Purrs

Anyhows, after a thorough and comprehensive investigation I can categorically state that besides being way darker at night, there was no sign of that lost hour, not unless it snuck past whilst I had that nah…um… closed meeting under the Hawthorn bush. OK so maybe a minute may have got by me, but what’s that between friends?

Hmm, on second thoughts, and that saying is clearly wrong as I’m fairly certain this is the fourth of the day (NOTE TO SELF: get Miss Description to check on that) it may be this time loss thing is some sort of illness that affects peeps and makes them run around get stressed sleep badly and generally run out of time.

Only the other week I was sat in the Crystal Tower when I spotted some peeps hurtling around the outlying territories on those bicycles. Not just ordinary cycling peeps, no ma’am, but those with funny shaped heads, and were clearly bent on catching up with that lost time as they had clad themselves in a tight sort of material that stuck to them like vacuum packaging to a salmon. Mouses!

Now peep tells me, so desperate is their need for speed to catch this missing time that they shave the hairs off their body in case these should stick through the packaging and slow them down! They even go so far as to dress in black so not only can’t other peeps see them, but the time doesn’t either, sort of stealth mode I guess?

I really cant see this catching on in the cat world, being hairless that is, even our cousins the Sphynx Cats aren’t totally hairless, think of the immodesty of it all not to mention the extra expense of all those new cat suits we’d have to buy. And as for cycling, I think that vacuum packed look would really cramp our free flowing natural poise and elegance not to mention generate so much static we’d be shocking everyone. Ouch!

In fact the more I think of it, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this too, but peeps seem to be dashing around everywhere in the world, and this could well be a global peepastrophy in the making… and worse than that, its a catastrophe! Heck, think of all those miss-timed meals and disturbed naps we’d have to face if this is allowed to persist. Mouses

But, what if there was an antidote, a way of ironing out that lost hour so it sort of spread across the whole year….?

**********rattle of calculator keys**********

Yep, it says here that it would be 10 seconds a day, give or take a bit, which no doubt be to allow for expansion & contraction in the summer and winter months. purrs

Hmm… maybe peep could cope with losing that, being only ten seconds, after all its not a lot and there are bound to be places where he could lose it and not notice. In fact he could lose a couple of seconds pouring some extra cream and a few more later allocating more treats and that would about do it for sure.

Now clearly if you are losing ten seconds a day you should be able to find ten seconds too. Now it couldn’t be at the same time as you lost it as that would be way to confusing and I’m fairly sure peep would faint, heck it might even cause some sort of  space time rift paradox or a black hole that would consume the palace and worse still, all that extra cream and nip. Mouses!

No, all things considered I think its best not to be mixing those two up, for sure. Maybe peep can find that time later, in the evening maybe by coming home earlier from work and catching it unawares and using that time for extra chin rubs. Of course one sure way would be by getting an electric can opener, would open my tins in half the time. Just saying peeps. purrs

Yes I can see how this would work very well, for the betterment of all peep society, boosting cream and treat production and sales and thus the economy.

Of course us cats would have a heavy burden to bear to ensure that it all works, but I wont complain, me being a princess and all, and whilst it will be a strain I think that its one my tumm… sorry… my princesses shoulders can bear.

Now about making this antidote recipe, I wonder if I’ll need more nip and cream?

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Dedicated to the memory of a very good friend to us all, Nerissa the Cat who passed over the rainbow bridge 6 months ago today. Oh to be able to turn back time….

(published 30.10.15)