What every Kitty needs

   Gadgets here and gadgets there, heck you cant go anywhere here at the palace without tripping over something electrical. I jest not, at last count we had acquired 4 computers, 5 mice (peeps I hasten to add), 3 electric fans, 8 mobile phones, 7 palace phones, 2 blenders and more digital clocks than you can shake a bag of treats at. Mouses!

Now don’t get me wrong, some gadgets are worth having, and I do feel ever kitty should have an electric can opener. Stands to reason cat food should be got at quickly so it doesn’t go off and those manual ones are such a struggle for peeps to use quickly.

Alas as we haven’t got one I haven’t actually tripped over it, so cant actually say I need to justify having one…but if I did and I had tripped over it, which of course I wouldn’t have as I’d be admitting I was on the work surface (which is forbidden in the palace kitchens), then I would most definitely have to say every kitty needs one of these, absolutely and unequivocally need one, maybe even two. Just saying peeps.

Now I’m all for recycling, stands to reason if you can reuse something then its better, and I find that works brilliantly with mice, play with them then eat them, two uses for one, three if you count keeping the cleaners busy. But I do rather wonder at the merits of 15 telephones of one description or another, I mean think of the call costs if you decided to use each simultaneously. Mouses!

Not that peep could of course, he’s his hands full keep track of our land line phone and his cellphone, the pair he says he needs as some calls are cheaper than others, which I suspect is on account of those sparrows not doing a lot from dusk till dawn, well not unless they’re on those U Pad things. purrs

If truth be known I think really the only reason he has either is so when he loses one or the other he needs the other or the one to find the one or other we cant find.

   Yep, my peep must be the only peep who can lose a land line telephone. Cellphones you sort of expect due to size and being as slippery as a goldfish, but the land line phone? And its not just any sort of a phone, no ma’am, its an extra large cordless phone for the elderly or hard of hearing with a loud ring and flashing lights. Believe me, no way anyone is napping through one of those guys, like the New Years day celebrations and 4th July all rolled into one. Mouses!

Now I think of it, I don’t really know why he has one as he’s not hard of hearing…. what’s that you say peep? what? pardon? oh, OK, peeps says it just happens to be for the hard of hearing and really he got it as it was cordless. Did I mention it had big buttons a loud speaker and hearing aid compatible? Just saying.

Anyways I think most of the problems start because peep turns the volume off on his phones. Yep he has phones and turns the volume off so he wont be disturbed. Now this is fine if you can find the phones, but mostly they take it in turns to vanish, and strangely its always the one peep needs that’s gone, probably some sort of union thing going on and distribution of labour.

Now if you want to see my peep in a panic its well worth coming round when he has lost a phone, and it all seems to go rather like this…

1) Sudden discovery that phone isn’t where it should be, or rather where it was last seen or thought to be seen and not actually where it should be which is in its charging cradle.

2) Increase in blood pressure and a rapid check of all surrounding clothes and known haunts of said phones eg under the bed or in furry slippers.

3) Searches of unlikely places such as laundry basket, kitchen cupboards and fridge and then the car.

4) Now at this stage peep usually comes and has a chat and asks if I’ve seen the offending phone, and usually offers extra nip and cream rations if I got out of bed to help search. Whilst this offer is very nice, I really cant see myself chasing an inanimate object, where’s the fun in that, especially when watching peep run about is way more exciting. purrs

5) With all else failed, the last resort seems to be to telephone the offending phone and see if it can be traced that way. Now I don’t know why he does this as (a) the telephone cant answer being a phone and all and (b) with the ringer turned off he’s not got much hope unless he can hear it vibrating or see some flashing lights, not that he’s deaf of course.

6) By this stage we have reached desperation point, the blood pressure tablets are out and I see a peep almost broken and most definitely late for work and possibly even the end of the universe judging by the state of things.

Now its usually at this point that the phone breaks cover and gives itself up from peeps inside pocket or shoulder bag or the charging cradle attached to some obscure extension lead where it has been all along. Who’d have thought of looking where it was meant to be, who’d have thought?

Now talking of extension leads, and like the surplus phones, the palace has been overrun with them since peep rescued them all from his papa’s house, and we’ve sort of become an adoption center where there is no actual adoption. They have their place of course, for sure, extending the reach of the electric can opener, should you have one, just saying.

But I swear they are actually breeding, last week in fact I was under the bookcase, researching a historical find I hasten to add, when I came across 2 baby leads in plastic bags, sort of embryos you might say, no longer than 6 inches. Now frankly they were way too small to be actually useful in fact if you had plugged them together they wouldn’t have reached the floor from the wall socket.

What peep wants with all these I don’t know, but we now have sufficient to circumnavigate the estate and plug every electrical power device on one floor to an outlet on another. Its even getting so you cant take a leisurely stroll or a nap without a coil of of one lead or another descending like a serpent from a hook to snare you or tangle your paws whilst stalking your lunch.

Nope, I think I need to give peep a hand and sort things out, else what are friends for if not to help get a neat palace to nap…sorry to share.

Yes a princesses work is to help those in need, to help peeps to make decisions, awkward as they may be, such as how many phones to keep, the length of peeps extension lead and what can opener to buy.

Its all selfless of course, but even now sat on the duvet in anticipation, I’m get a warm glow, a tingly feeling and a bit of a buzz of something good to come.

Yep, this princess is drawing a line right here for the sake of peeps sanity, putting my paw down and……. Oooh what’s this I’ve slept on? Hmm…. feels sort of phone like, even glows………… like a phone…………  Ooops. Mouses!