I think its safe to say that spring has finally sprung in my neighbourhood, and if the number of lawn mowers doing their lawn mowing thing is anything to go by, spring has sprung a fast one on the peeps for sure, and caught them by surprise!
What I’ve seen from my Crystal Tower, aka peeps and my bedroom window, and on the ground, is quite a flurry of activity in the grass department over the last week. These mowing peeps are going at it hammer and tong, which is strange as there isn’t either of those two implements to be seen anywhere. I did check you know, oh yes, and definitely no tong, though I did see a hammer at one point but it wasn’t being used on the grass, if you know what I mean, so fairly certain that doesn’t count. And there’s no ordinary amount of peep enthusiasm (or lack of either), no ma’am, they’re going at it as though the spring grass was the devil incarnate needing to be driven back to the gates of Hades! Peep assured me that this Hades place was in fact a few miles nearer town and some distance underground, which explained the vim and vigour to suppress the grass I guess!
Anyways, all this fervour started, as every good fervoured story starts, one sunny morning last week when I was dosing under my hedge. My much needed reverie was violently and loudly interrupted with a volley of grass twigs and small stones being thrown into the hedge, the latter bounced of my nose…..”Eeek!… Oi!…what the heck!… that really hurt!…oh MOUSES!” was all I could muster (being a family blog and all). Having dusted off the debris and given the nose a check over, I stuck my head out to see who was causing this affront to my personage, with the intent of shaking a paw at them and giving them a piece of my mind. Failing that I’d use peeps mind,….hmm, maybe mine would be better, huh?
The object of my disgruntlement was a green peep with a strimmer. I should say that technically he wasn’t green, not in that sort of sickly seasick green kind of way, it was more the colour of his clothes. From the boots up to his chest he was clad, thankfully, not only in a one-piece, but in grass, mulched hedge and leaf mould. In fact, dare I say it, there was even grass on his beard, although to be fair that could have been from a salad. Yep, overall I can safely say that this peep was green, bar the other bits which were either tanned or hairy, or even both. purrs
Well that there green peep (complete with the obligatory pair of stereo headphones that seem to connect to peeps nowadays) was dancin’, eyes shut, as he swung his strimmer down the hedge! Now I’m not the boasting kind, but I can strut my stuff down the catwalk or over a roof with the best of them, so I think I am qualified to say dancin’ was way too strong a word for what peep was doing, more a jiggling kitten style of swagger!
Call me old fashioned, well actually don’t call me old fashioned, call me…..erm…..um…….Not old fashioned! but I wouldn’t let my peep loose with a strimmer even if he had 20/20 vision and hearing and a dance certificate from the Bolshoi! So why, I ask myself, was this hearing and vision impaired dance challenged peep actually entrusted with a petrol driven, cat covering, cutting device? Maybe its some rite of passage ceremony or some game show challenge or a secret society of Free Strimmers’? Whichever, with the deduction skills of Holmes himself, I deducted that this wasn’t the best sort of person to have a reproving chat with as (a) he wouldn’t hear me (b) he wouldn’t see me and (c) given the former he probably would dance on right by me and trim my whiskers off to boot, sorry to nose! Wowser. Clearly time for reproving would have to wait, now was the time for a nap!
Drifting off once more under the hedge, I’d just entered a particularly delicious field of mousse cows (Red Leicester breed) when there was an almighty clanking, rumbling and whirring sound from the other side of the hedge. “Oy Vey…What’s a princess got to do around her own hedge to catch 45 winks!” I muttered, “Nice sunny day and all peeps want to do is pollute the air with fumes and noise!” Sticking my head out once more, the offending bit of machinery, a sit on side discharge mulching mower made a direct pass and duly discharged sideways a load of wet fresh mulched grass, in my face! “Oi!….I Say!….By jiminy!…Not again!… MOUSES! Let me tell you now, there is nothing less dignifying for a cat (unless it is having a bath which I profess I never have) than having lumps of wet mulched grass thrown in your face, sideways or otherwise. Wowser!
Looking like a cross between green strimming peep and a seasick lion, Arr, I shook off the last of the grass and I took up residence in my Crystal Tower to catch some mulch free warmth and 45 winks.
As these stories go, it wouldn’t be fitting for fate to end things there, no ma’am, so ’twasn’t long before there was a sound not unakin to the green strimmer peep. Now not wishing to jump to conclusions, (that’s down the page some) I mused that maybe it wasn’t green peep, but maybe his uncle, a brother or maybe a cousin, heck maybe even a long lost step son of a long lost lover, like they have in novels? Anyways, as sure as cats like nip, from around the other end of the hedge came… (dramatic sound effect) duh duh duhhh….the green peep still merrily jiggling and swinging away his strimmer but in the opposite direction. Stopping, he took a couple of steps back and surveyed the now well strimmed and mowed grass around the hedge. Scratching his head, he shrugged and shoved his strimmer further into the hedge base and carried on strimming and dancin’. If Elvis had seen those gyrations he’d have definitely left the building, if not the continent, Wowser!
The following morning, not long before my second nap of the day, I was heading out to the hedge when the sound of a strimmer wafted into my ears. This cant be I thought, my grass has already been strimmed, twice in fact, and by the same peep no less, and mowed once for good measure. Certain I’d not had any cheese, I sat down to take stock from a safe distance, and to see what would happen. Sure enough a strimmer peep came into view. Clearly this wasn’t the green peep I met the day before, for starters this peep was definitely beige, that’s his clothes and not himself, and he didn’t wear headphones or dance either, though he did have some of those reflective glasses, which was a shame as he was going up in my markings for not dancin’.
Around the hedge the new peep went with the purpose lacking in the green peep’s steps and once he’d gone full circle he stopped checked his work and then headed off to strim the adjoining trees. Not being paranoid, but after a face full of mulched grass and a dented nose, this princess wasn’t in a hurry for another assault, no ma’am, so I pottered around the wood pile for a bit to see what would happen. One nap and a missed sparrow later, confident that neither the strimmer or a mower of the clearly rampant (not) grass was within range, I hunkered on down in my hedge for a nap.
Now, have you ever thought that some days the great cat god (Bast) is teasing you, and the whole thing is just one big game of Poker, a crooked game at that? Not that I play such games mind, though there was that time with the squirrel, 1/2 lb of best Brie, a small rodent and a close shave with the police! but I digress, in fact please forget about that all together and lets digress elsewhere, Mouses! Well on such days, no matter what you do, that sparrow will always move to a higher branch, or the shower comes just as you are heading out. You know this for sure, and that whether you make a decision now, in ten minutes, thirty minutes or two hours later, the outcome will be the same, namely falling on your face and getting wet, sometimes both. Mouses!
Well today was clearly such a day, and no sooner than I had settled, than out pops a peep from the house across the other side of the hedge, and with him his rickety old mower with which he…wait for it….proceeds to mow around the hedge! I folded on that poker game and returned home to muse on.
I don’t watch television, mainly because peep doesn’t have one. This he says is only because its repeats anyways, and he’s not paying for a licence to watch repeats. Well I shall be telling him later that Peep TV is the same too, though a little bit dirtier and noisier, for sure!
(This drama was bought to you courtesy of Peep TV. The events are true (ish) only the names have been changed to protect the peeps.
No grass was hurt during the making of this blog…..MOUSES!)
Dedicated to the Memory of Nerissa the Cat…
I looked again at the emails, reread them over and over but they don’t change. Nerissa had passed away, had lost the fight for life and left his family, his friends.
Looking out I saw clouds gathering, I felt the change in the air round about me.
Where there should have been words of life, adventure and joy there was now a silence, a darkness an ocean deep.
The skies darken and I feel cold, and I cry.
I cry for his family and his many friends who no longer have his company his wit and life to share, but now share a common loss. He gave so much to so many, supported those who couldn’t fight for themselves against the injustices around them and raised a smile and a laugh on the darkest of days to lift the soul.
Sudden gusts bring rain hammering against my window, rain so strong it seems to penetrate my heart and mind and soul, intent on worsening the sorrow. I turn away to hide but the sound surrounds me, driven by a wind that wont let go.
Then, as a wave retreating, there is a sigh and it is gone. The clouds seem driven apart by unseen hands, like hushed spectators drawn back to let a Champion pass. And there in their stead a Rainbow resides, bold and bright the colours, like fresh flowering primroses, his primroses, his favourites. A primrose path fresh made over a Rainbow Bridge, a path for a friend who we will not meet again till that path we ourselves do take.
A friend such as Nerissa shall never be forgotten, we will never forget.
He reached out and touched us all with kindness, wit and generosity. And so whilst the primroses of spring must fade, their memory lives fresh and true until spring once more doth bring them back to us anew…..
God Bless you Nerissa